7k啦言情小说

第77章（第1页）

“FITZWILLIAMDARCY”

IfElizabeth，whenMr。Darcygavehertheletter，didnotexpectittocontainarenewalofhisoffers，shehadformednoexpectationatallofitscontents。Butsuchastheywere，itmaywellbesupposedhoweagerlyshewentthroughthem，andwhatacontrarietyofemotiontheyexcited。Herfeelingsasshereadwerescarcelytobedefined。Withamazementdidshefirstunderstandthathebelievedanyapologytobeinhispower;andsteadfastlywasshepersuaded，thathecouldhavenoexplanationtogive，whichajustsenseofshamewouldnotconceal。Withastrongprejudiceagainsteverythinghemightsay，shebeganhisaccountofwhathadhappenedatNetherfield。Shereadwithaneagernesswhichhardlyleftherpowerofcomprehension，andfromimpatienceofknowingwhatthenextsentencemightbring，wasincapableofattendingtothesenseoftheonebeforehereyes。Hisbeliefofhersister’sinsensibilitysheinstantlyresolvedtobefalse;andhisaccountofthereal，theworstobjectionstothematch，madehertooangrytohaveanywishofdoinghimjustice。Heexpressednoregretforwhathehaddonewhichsatisfiedher;hisstylewasnotpenitent，buthaughty。Itwasallprideandinsolence。

ButwhenthissubjectwassucceededbyhisaccountofMr。Wickham—whenshereadwithsomewhatclearerattentionarelationofeventswhich，iftrue，mustoverthroweverycherishedopinionofhisworth，andwhichboresoalarminganaffinitytohisownhistoryofhimself—herfeelingswereyetmoreacutelypainfulandmoredifficultofdefinition。Astonishment，apprehension，andevenhorror，oppressedher。Shewishedtodiscredititentirely，repeatedlyexclaiming，“Thismustbefalse!Thiscannotbe!Thismustbethegrossestfalsehood!”—andwhenshehadgonethroughthewholeletter，thoughscarcelyknowinganythingofthelastpageortwo，putithastilyaway，protestingthatshewouldnotregardit，thatshewouldneverlookinitagain。

Inthisperturbedstateofmind，withthoughtsthatcouldrestonnothing，shewalkedon;butitwouldnotdo;inhalfaminutetheletterwasunfoldedagain，andcollectingherselfaswellasshecould，sheagainbeganthemortifyingperusalofallthatrelatedtoWickham，andcommandedherselfsofarastoexaminethemeaningofeverysentence。TheaccountofhisconnectionwiththePemberleyfamilywasexactlywhathehadrelatedhimself;andthekindnessofthelateMr。Darcy，thoughshehadnotbeforeknownitsextent，agreedequallywellwithhisownwords。Sofareachrecitalconfirmedtheother;butwhenshecametothewill，thedifferencewasgreat。WhatWickhamhadsaidofthelivingwasfreshinhermemory，andassherecalledhisverywords，itwasimpossiblenottofeelthattherewasgrossduplicityononesideortheother;and，forafewmoments，sheflatteredherselfthatherwishesdidnoterr。Butwhenshereadandre-readwiththeclosestattention，theparticularsimmediatelyfollowingofWickhamsresigningallpretensionstotheliving，ofhisreceivinginlieusoconsiderableasumasthreethousandpounds，againwassheforcedtohesitate。Sheputdowntheletter，weighedeverycircumstancewithwhatshemeanttobeimpartiality—deliberatedontheprobabilityofeachstatement—butwithlittlesuccess。Onbothsidesitwasonlyassertion。Againshereadon;buteverylineprovedmoreclearlythattheaffair，whichshehadbelieveditimpossiblethatanycontrivancecouldsorepresentastorenderMr。Darcysconductinitlessthaninfamous，wascapableofaturnwhichmustmakehimentirelyblamelessthroughoutthewhole。

TheextravaganceandgeneralprofligacywhichhescruplednottolayatMr。Wickhamscharge，exceedinglyshockedher;themoreso，asshecouldbringnoproofofitsinjustice。Shehadneverheardofhimbeforehisentranceintothe—shireMilitia，inwhichhehadengagedatthepersuasionoftheyoungmanwho，onmeetinghimaccidentallyintown，hadthererenewedaslightacquaintance。OfhisformerwayoflifenothinghadbeenknowninHertfordshirebutwhathetoldhimself。Astohisrealcharacter，hadinformationbeeninherpower，shehadneverfeltawishofinquiring。Hiscountenance，voice，andmannerhadestablishedhimatonceinthepossessionofeveryvirtue。Shetriedtorecollectsomeinstanceofgoodness，somedistinguishedtraitofintegrityorbenevolence，thatmightrescuehimfromtheattacksofMr。Darcy;oratleast，bythepredominanceofvirtue，atoneforthosecasualerrorsunderwhichshewouldendeavourtoclasswhatMr。Darcyhaddescribedastheidlenessandviceofmanyyearscontinuance。Butnosuchrecollectionbefriendedher。Shecouldseehiminstantlybeforeher，ineverycharmofairandaddress;butshecouldremembernomoresubstantialgoodthanthegeneralapprobationoftheneighbourhood，andtheregardwhichhissocialpowershadgainedhiminthemess。Afterpausingonthispointaconsiderablewhile，sheoncemorecontinuedtoread。But，alas!thestorywhichfollowed，ofhisdesignsonMissDarcy，receivedsomeconfirmationfromwhathadpassedbetweenColonelFitzwilliamandherselfonlythemorningbefore;andatlastshewasreferredforthetruthofeveryparticulartoColonelFitzwilliamhimself—fromwhomshehadpreviouslyreceivedtheinformationofhisnearconcerninallhiscousinsaffairs，andwhosecharactershehadnoreasontoquestion。Atonetimeshehadalmostresolvedonapplyingtohim，buttheideawascheckedbytheawkwardnessoftheapplication，andatlengthwhollybanishedbytheconvictionthatMr。Darcywouldneverhavehazardedsuchaproposal，ifhehadnotbeenwellassuredofhiscousinscorroboration。